30 DAY PARENTING PRAYER CHALLENGE: Day 22

If you don’t know this about me, I also witness on the sidewalk of abortion facilities. Every day that place is open we see teenagers and young adults coming to abort their precious child. They usually don’t come alone; they are literally flanked with their own parents and sometimes grandparents to see that the child is aborted. As a parent, when I see parents giving their thumb’s up to kill their own grandchild, you really ‘get’ how these kids have gotten to where they are in life at such a young age.

Our adult kids and teenagers are children of this media age. They are coerced every day with constant media stimulation of one kind or another. Video games and online gaming has made real zombies of our kids. In the news recently, one dad smothered his infant son and another allowed his child to starve to death because of gaming. While these are extreme cases, they are just the tip of the iceberg. Our adult kids are still playing games and living in a fantasy world. My grandma always said television would ruin our eyes.

The basics of life are totally ignored. And we wonder why some of these kids can’t make it on their own and blame us for it? We teach them, they look at us like we’re some kind of monster. Because of this media age, they have all the answers, we’re idiots. We want to help them with a Godly hand, we’re told they hate God.

This is a sin problem; for them life is fantasy and selfish and never ending. A self professed ‘pastor’ said that his daughter can get an abortion because of free will. And that is true…but this ‘pastor’ and his daughter still have to answer to God for their flagrant use of His gift of free will. Again, this is a sin problem, not a chink in the armor.

 “I struck you with blight and mildew and hail in all the labors of your hands; yet you did not turn to Me,’ says the Lord.” Haggai 2:17

We will all eventually turn back to God. Being backslidden is a heavy bondage to carry.

Pray for the Damascus Road experience for these kids. Pray that the scales will fall from their eyes, “I was once blind but now I see”, [John 9:25].

30 DAY PARENTING PRAYER CHALLENGE: Day 21

I have a friend that has absolutely NO idea where her adult son is. Because she is a Christian, he walked out on their mother/son relationship both figuratively and literally. I understand where she’s at, mine have done the same. They say it’s because they don’t believe in Jesus but the truth is that they are convicted deep in their spirit for what they do and consequently blame us for being ‘holy rollers’ that pushed them out. That’s a real nice explanation, too bad it’s an outright lie. If ANYONE is a Christ follower, they purport the love of Christ, not shake their fist in His name.

Whether or not that actually happens is not the point; I know that is not the case here. When I came to the Lord, I wished EVERYONE Jesus! I STILL grieve thinking of the souls, especially my children, that may not make it because they live for the world. My heart and soul is sick, however my faith is unwavering.

As parents and Christians, we need to remember that the enemy places our own children against us and Jesus so that we would be forced to make a decision: Jesus or them. Just keep in mind that your children cannot get you into Heaven.

The prodigal son? That parable should have been called the prodigal father…but in my case, the prodigal mother. While the adult child goes and lives like he wants despite how he was raised with his fist raised to God, we wait. And sometimes a VERY LONG TIME.

v11 Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. v12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. v13 And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.” Luke 15:11-13

So many young adults run the system thinking they have everything in control. The truth is that the system has them; they spend what they don’t have in hopes to have it one day. And a lot of times they use their parent’s money to float their disobedience. As a parent with a bank account, I had to finally say no. I cannot fund a rotten lifestyle that does not glorify God.

v17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! v18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you’.” Luke 15:17-18

I don’t know that I need an apology, what I need is to forgive and look forward rather than looking at a past that we cannot change. All that I do ask is they be obedient to God and do what He says. I cannot imagine how they would react when they understand the economy of God and that He loves them. Sometimes provision comes in obedience.

“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.” Luke 15:20

I think we forget to have compassion for our adult kids rather than staying mad at a situation we couldn’t change. Short of duct tape and zip ties, I cannot force our adult kids to do anything. When they are on ‘self destruct’ all we can do is show our compassion and love.

v23And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; v24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.” Luke 15:23-24

And it should be a celebration! Standing in the doorway looking like judge and jury is not the love of God. Don’t get me wrong – I am human – but as I get older I see how short time really is. Life is happening right now and death will eventually come. I just want them prepared to leave this earth and go to a place prepared for us, “v2 I go to prepare a place for you. v3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also”, [John 14:2-3].

My prayer today is all adult children understand that being parents did not end when they left. Nothing can shake the love of a parent or the love of God. Our children are always ours, and we are His.

I don’t know about you but I’m still waiting…and it’s okay. I do what Christ would do: Wait with a loving and forgiving heart.

30 DAY PARENTING PRAYER CHALLENGE: Day 19

In these last 19 posts, I have whined and opined how our boys have been our greatest challenge; they see through eyes that don’t see God in everything or anything, even the bad stuff. If we did not see and experience trouble and tribulation, how would we seek God?

I have been putting off one of our fervent prayer targets regarding our adult kids. She is THE epitome of a warrior of Jesus Christ. She really does bring sunshine on a cloudy day. Even her ‘bad days’ are never bad enough to not be that ray of sunshine WE may need. She’s faced adversity from all angles, she has been hurt and tread upon. But NEVER has she EVER hated God.

She knows that it’s sin that has brought her to where she’s at and it’s JESUS that will deliver her. She knows the devil can’t have her because she is a true child of God. She has real Joy in the Lord and PRAYS.

She is a great mom that has a great big mushy heart for her children but rules with a firm, Godly hand.

When she cries our whole world stops. When she is hurt, we hurt. But through it all, she has never stopped loving God no matter how hard her day, week, month or years has gotten.

She gives freely and with love, with her hard earned money or with her time. She wants everyone to know Jesus as their Savior.

And she has a chronic illness, one that can take her life.

NO EXCUSES: So, when our boys act like the overgrown insipid monkeys they are [I am being sooooo kind here :)], we remind ourselves of that ray of sunshine that lives way too far away for us to hold and calm in her times of trouble or when pain goes through her frail body like a cat 5 hurricane. We cannot say enough how much we are humbled that God gave us such a creature to behold and learn from.

v18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. v19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, v20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen. [Matthew 28:18-20]

We are forever grateful to God for each of our children; each one has qualities I adore. Our prayer today is that they will understand deliverance and the true nature of who God is – our Friend, our Deliverer and our Father: “And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, ‘Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.’ And he was called the friend of God“, [James 2:23].

30 DAY PARENTING PRAYER CHALLENGE: Day 18

One of our adult kids has gotten particularly hard at life, hard at the things of God. Good Friday…on that day Christ died for our sins; He is our propitiation, our gift. We did not deserve Him but God loved us so much that he gave His only Son. As parents we demonstrate our love for our kids with our sacrifices to give them what they need or want. Certainly I am not God, neither are you. But to our kids, we seem so.

For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die.” Romans 5:7

The loyalty we show for our children isn’t reciprocated or even appreciated. My middle son’s birthday was just the other day, he wouldn’t answer his phone. I gave birth to that beautiful redheaded ball of energy and he wouldn’t pick up the phone or call us back. I would give my life for him and he won’t answer his phone? To that I say, I gave birth to you and CHRIST DIED FOR YOU…what else could you possibly want? Your life began with me and it can end in Eternity with Christ; I’d say your needs are taken care of, if you accept Christ.

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Can you even imagine it? JESUS DIED FOR US! How can anyone not be awestruck by that? No one would, at the very least, stand up for me; but not only did Christ stand up for me, He died for me…ME. Dealing with unsaved or backslidden kids is heartbreaking for me, I cannot imagine how that grieves Him after enduring a horrific, humiliating death on a Cross for these kids to ignore.

As our kids get older we want to be what they want but as they grow into adults, we have to become what they need. Some of these kids are not satisfied with ‘need’, they want more and more, and on their terms. Then, rather than kicking against the goads, perhaps they should take the narrow gate?

v4 Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?”

v5 And he said, “Who are You, Lord?” Then the Lord said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads.”

v6 So he, trembling and astonished, said, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” Acts 9:4-6

In the spirit of thanksgiving, Paul asked what he could do for Him. Even after all of the persecution that Paul [then Saul] had committed to Christians, in that moment he knew he had grieved the Lord for what he did and asked “Lord, what do you want me to do”? Paul spent a lifetime doing what He called him to do. Paul was given a gift he cannot repay, a debt that we all owe.

I pray for my children to be comforted in their time of need and despair with the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, not the empty promises of the world.

 

30 DAY PARENTING PRAYER CHALLENGE: Day 17

My adult kids and I may have had our troubles, but ultimately my goal as their mother is to get them to the altar…of repentance.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

I am awakened nearly every night by God to pray. I pray for my children to have Heaven as their Eternal home. It paralyzes me to think they may not make it. If it’s by the fruit we judge, then I’m concerned.

Parents are not perfect; most far from it. I teach from my failure so that they will not know the grief I know. Leading that horse to water is hard enough, but trying to get it to drink is quite another. Because of ‘free will’ we sin…WE sin, not just me. Adult kids LOVE to point out our sin but it’s just a ploy to take the focus off them. However, as parents we want them to have what we could not; we sacrifice but they see us as selfish. Knowing that I cannot change what they think or do, I PRAY.

Prayer is what we should have been doing the entire time. How many times have we said ‘All we can do is pray’? It’s like a last-ditch effort to do what we should have been doing from the start. I may be old and slow, but I’m still teachable.

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” James 5:16

Pray for salvation, and if your kids are backslidden, pray like the devil is chasing you…because he is.

30 DAY PARENTING PRAYER CHALLENGE: Day 15

How I wish my kids really knew the Joy of the Lord. They, like most people, believe it’s happiness that brings joy. While happiness is very short lived, joy is for every minute of every day. Joy is a lifestyle, if you are a born-again believer.

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” Matthew 13:44

I cannot imagine my life without the Lord. He is my field, my Joy.

But that always wasn’t so. I got saved at 40 years old, well after I had my children. I believe this is why my children have their worldly woes; they were raised by a worldly mom that knew no more than what the world taught…just like they are today.

Trying to undo the past is pretty much impossible. This is what I am trying to teach our adult kids, from our own attempts at trying to rule the world rather than obeying God. Our results were pretty bleak, just like theirs.

What I cannot understand is why our adult kids would rather do what we used to do and expect optimum results rather than seeing how we live for the Lord now. Certainly we do not have tons of possessions or a huge home, but that is by design and being obedient; learning financial stewardship was FREEING. Christians don’t have ‘need’ of things…we need Jesus Christ, our Joy.

My prayer [at 4am this morning!] is that our kids and your kids will understand and live by Jesus and His incredible ministry rather than chasing 30 pieces of silver. This is ‘Holy Week’, the last earthly week of the life of Jesus. He did so much for us and I wish our children the deep Joy we have in Him for them.

God Bless you all today ~ the new blanket of snow on the ground this morning is like a brand new blanket of renewal to me. Have a great day!

30 DAY PARENTING PRAYER CHALLENGE: Day 14

Aren’t there days when our adult kids look and act just like Goliath? Goliath was proud, big, mean – he made fun of David: “…he [Goliath] disdained him; for he was only a youth, ruddy and good-looking.” 

Do you remember when your kids thought they were big enough to take you? You know, it’s kind of a rite of passage. They get all puffed up thinking that they are large and in charge. Well, not this mom. I won’t be defeated by Goliath.

“Then he took his staff in his hand; and he chose for himself five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in a shepherd’s bag, in a pouch which he had, and his sling was in his hand. And he drew near to the Philistine.” 1Samuel 17:40

The weapons our kids use are scare tactics, much like what Goliath used with David. Nothing is scarier than kids that have no fear. They expect us to deal with their loftiness. We are subjected to being practically ordered to pay for their adult life. Well, NOT IN MY HOUSE….anymore. I needed to remember who is in charge of this house: The Lord is first, my husband second, then little ol’ me…with FIVE STONES.

Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.” 1Samuel 17:45 

When we were younger, we [my husband and I] did not have luxury of treating our parents badly to get things. Never did I consider stealing from them. They were like God to me. The Bible says that ‘children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death‘ but I never really believed it could really happen, but it does. 

Pray for all adult kids to be kinder and gentler to their parents. Mighty Goliath may have all the weapons of mass destruction, but I’ll hold onto those five smooth stones….but I’ve got a feeling everything’s gonna be alright.

30 DAY PARENTING PRAYER CHALLENGE: Day 13

As parents to adult kids, we still want to ‘parent’ them. I realized how bad I want to wrap my boys up and protect them from the enemy, even with my own life. I hate how the world treats them, I hate how the enemy uses them. But I see with spiritual eyes, they do not. They see ‘bad luck’ or ‘God hates me’ rather than circumstances that seem to pick and choose when to be reckoned with. It is the enemy who seeks them, it is God who wants to give them rest.

The tongue seems to have a mind of it’s own. One could rule the world if they could tame the tongue:

“v8 But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. v9 With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. v10 Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.” James 3:8-10

The battlefield of the mind, the taming of the tongue needs to be dealt with every minute of every day. There is no other way to relearn how to live within polite society. Giving mercy gets mercy, giving grace gets grace. Mercy and grace are the greatest provision from God.

“v1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. v2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:1-2 

Speaking with my oldest son yesterday about his current circumstances, I was met with a general kind of well-being from him. Rather than still being angry, he has accepted his lot and is working toward a better end rather than shadow boxing God.

There is Joy in the Lord, not a bunch of money and an easy life. I cannot state this emphatically enough: Jesus is the only answer to EVERY question, “Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength,” [Neh 8:10].

Pray that your adult kids will see their way is not working on the long term and will accept a Holy God rather than scraps from the world.

30 DAY PARENTING PRAYER CHALLENGE: Day 12

While reading the story of Noah, I noticed parallels with today’s Christian family – the patriarchal hierarchy in which the family assumes salvation through a parent or grandparent; or perhaps aunt or uncle. In my family it was my aunt. We figured she had all the religion stuff covered for us. How far from the truth is that! NO ONE can assume YOUR salvation for you! Our adult kids are riding that wave, the one we created as saved followers of Christ.

The Bible says, “Noah was a just man, perfect in his generations. Noah walked with God,” [Gen 6:9]. In that bit of scripture it did not say one word about Noah’s family having a personal relationship with the Lord. Then, did his family ride his salvation coattails? I’d say the evidence says yes:

“v20 And Noah began to be a farmer, and he planted a vineyard. v21 Then he drank of the wine and was drunk, and became uncovered in his tent. v22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. v23 But Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and went backward and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were turned away, and they did not see their father’s nakedness.” Genesis 9:20-23

Remember, when this happened to Noah, the flood was over, “So God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them: Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth,” [Gen 9:1] – which means that his entire family saw with their own eyes how God saved them from the flood that killed everything on earth. And even that was not enough to bring them to the end of themselves and to the Lord.

Do our adult kids assume salvation through us? I know I did as a young adult, I really thought that I didn’t have to do anything. I pray and pray and pray that my kids will find the Lord, I pray for their protection; these things we SHOULD do. But they have to have their own salvation experience just like we did:

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” 2Peter 3:9

30 DAY PARENTING PRAYER CHALLENGE: Day 11

Have you ever felt as if your kids, adult or not, seem to ‘scheme’? That’s because they are. They have pitted a war against their own parents, and I have to wonder if they really know what they are doing or why. Are they led by their own frustrations of being parented by Christians OR are they led by something more sinister? The kids will tell you it’s all the parents fault but the truth is even though they try to be a united front against us, they are fighting a real war against God with the devil himself:

And they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in the heavens; let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth.” Genesis 11:4

Have you noticed that adult kids demand restitution rather than being gently led with a patient hand? Maybe money talks, but not in my house. IF we had all the money in the world we would not buy their love and respect.

Money is usually the common denominator of their troubles; they don’t have it because they are living for themselves and against God…and somehow it’s our fault. To that I say this: If money were NOT the issue, then what is keeping you from being the loving son/daughter to us like you used to be? [Can you tell I used to be in sales?] So then, son/daughter, what IS that ‘one thing’ keeping you from being a family with us? Excuses, excuses.

Since the beginning of time, children took care of their ailing and elderly parents. It was a cohesive unit rather than prison. I would count it an honor to take care of my parents! Can you imagine giving back to them for what they gave? And if there were trouble, the ability and OPPORTUNITY to forgive and GIVE: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself‘, Mark 12:31.

There may be a war, but we have to deal with this one battle at a time; the battle today will be different than the battle tomorrow. Still they look upon us as the enemy even though we love them through everything they make us deal with. I don’t know about you, but our own enemies don’t treat us this badly.

Pray that adult children will return to their first love rather than chasing shadows.